Michael Huffington (R-Calif.)


 
 

Claims to fame: Rich Beverly Hills jet-setter; ex-husband of columnist Arianna Huffington; adulterer; closet homo

Moral apex: Columnist-wife Arianna dumped him when she found out he was cheating on her.

Punch line: With other men.

Where he is now: Political limbo. Served one term in California state legislature. Lost Senate race to Democrat-In-Name-Only Dianne Feinstein. Got caught cheating. Came out. Toyed with the idea of becoming a Democrat. Threw hat into California gubernatorial circus. Pulled out. Doesn’t seem to know what to do with his life.

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Huffington:

And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

— Matthew 7:25
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