Claims to fame: Neo-Republican of the Newt Gingrich variety; former U.S. Representative (1995-97); former Oregon state senator; rancher; owner, Rose Laboratories (vitamin supplements); divorcé, thus, an adulterer; habitual liar
Moral apex #1: Lied about serving in the Korean War. Claimed there were no records of his Korean service because his work was super-duper-secret. Also claimed records (which he’d already said didn’t exist) had been destroyed in a fire. Oh yeah, and that his commander had been killed in action, so nobody could vouch for his claims.
Turns out Cooley’s commander, one Sgt. Major Clifford Poppy, was alive; he had been Cooley’s boot camp drill instructor — not in Korea or anywhere else. Despite other soldiers coming forward to agree with Poppy, Cooley insinuated that Poppy was senile. (But he never explained how Poppy wasn’t dead.)
Moral apex #2: Cooley lied about other, more trivial matters, like being a member of Phi Beta Kappa— oh, no, wait, it was a different society, but, um, gee, he couldn’t remember which one…
Moral apex #3: He married one Rosemary Herron in 1985, then lied about the date of their marriage so Herron could continue collecting her dead husband’s military widow’s benefits. When pressed by the media (the same “liberal media [that] was engaging in character assassination,” according to Cooley when the truth about his service records came out), Cooley feigned a little senility of his own, saying he had to check out “facts at his disposal” because he’d answer any questions about the actual date of his marriage. He finally claimed that he’d married Herron in 1991 — which, ever so coincidentally, was the year Herron had stopped receiving checks.
What happened next: Cooley was finally pressured by his own party out of running for re-election in 1996.
In 1997, Cooley was indicted, tried, and convicted of lying about his military record on the voter information guide for the 1994 election. He was fined and put on two years’ probation; the conviction was expunged in 2000 after Cooley, a first-time offender, fulfilled his sentence.
Did he ever learn from the past? Nope. In 1998, he ran for Congress again, still claiming he’d served with the Army Special Forces in Korea. Fortunately, voters weren’t so stupid; Cooley lost the election, coming in third place.
More recently: On January 29, 2009, Cooley “was charged with helping bilk investors out of more than $10 million in a scam… Cooley, 76, of Palm Springs, California, is accused of taking more than $1.1 million of investor money in 2002, laundering the money to hide the fraud scheme and using it for his own benefit… Cooley and co-conspirers sold unregistered stock of Bidbay.com Inc., of which he was vice president, under the false pretext that EBay Inc. would soon be buying the company for $20 a share… The former congressman and his former wife had been defendants in a civil lawsuit brought by investors over Bidbay.com. The federal court in Santa Ana, California, entered a default judgment against Cooley for $1.86 million in January 2007. His former wife, Rosemary Cooley, said in court filings that she didn’t know Cooley was using her company, Rose Laboratories Inc., to funnel investors’ money to himself. Cooley is charged with six counts of concealment money-laundering and one count of subscribing to a false tax return. He faces as long as 38 years in prison if convicted on all counts, according to O’Brien’s statement. His two accomplices pleaded guilty last year and are awaiting sentencing, according to the statement.” (Bloomberg)
Fun fact: Once compared U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service agents to the Gestapo.
Memorable quote:
“Tell him he’s a liar. Tell him Sergeant Poppy said that.”— Sgt. Major Clifford Poppy
upon learning of Cooley’s Korean War tales
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Cooley:
A sword is upon the liars; and they shall dote: a sword is upon her mighty men; and they shall be dismayed.— Jeremiah 50:35
