Tyson Graves
Claims to fame: 28-year-old senior pastor, Allenville Christian Church, Sullivan, Illinois; student, Moody Bible Institute (Scofield Bible Study Certificate Program); Promise Keepers disciple; founder, True Manhood Ministries (vision: “to help men become passionate followers of Jesus Christ” by providing “bible studies in areas such as sexual integrity, family, marriage, parenting, and basic discipleship”); husband; father of two small children; Internet porn addict; contender for Conservative Babylonian of the Year, 2009
Moral apex: Arrested October 1, 2009, and charged with one count of sexual exploitation of a child and one count of using the Internet for the sexual exploitation of a child, after allegedly “exposing himself using a web cam with who he thought was a girl under the age of fifteen. It was actually a sergeant with the Gilpin County Sheriff’s Office in Colorado. According to records, Graves asked the portrayed child sexual questions, asked for sexual photos of her, and even provided his cell phone number.” [wandtv.com]
Currently: As of October 13, 2009, behind bars in the Piatt County Jail, awaiting extradition to Colorado.
Game over: We’re betting that Graves’ career, as well as his marriage, is kaput. On the True Manhood Ministries Web site, his grammar- and spelling-impaired wife details her husband’s endless addiction to Internet porn — which he continued to indulge well after being ordained in 2008 — revealing details that will no doubt prove quite damaging to his case:
… So, Tyson is working at Progress and I am working at the Mall in Tuscola. I had to work a lot of evening hours while Tyson got home at 3pm. Many days I was just going in to work when he was getting home, so I did not arrive home until 9 or after at night. This left Tyson at home all alone. I had no clue there was anything to worry about. Then one evening I happen to get off work early and come home. We had a spare bedroom that you could see when you walked in our apartment down at the end of the hall. I walk in and see Tyson sitting at our computer with the web cam down on the computer desk instead on top of the computer and a light right next to the web cam. I asked him what he was doing and of course the response was “nothing”. I told him I am not that stupid, so what were you doing with the web cam and a light down on the desk? In a round about way he finally told me he was chatting and showing some girl himself. Of course I was furious and we had some words that night. He assured me he would not do it again and he was very sorry. …A few months went by and I just had this feeling something was not right. … [A friend] came over and showed me the cookies file, which shows exactly where you had been and when you had been there. My heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach when I seen all of the porn sites Tyson had been to. …
Now lets skip ahead several years. … So, once again Tyson was home all alone and “getting bored”! You guessed it again he got caught. …
Then in July of that same year Tyson got the opportunity to go to Promise Keepers. … Things got a whole lot better in our marriage and in our relationship with God. We became closer as husband and wife and closer to God. We became very active in our church. Tyson and I both began to work with the youth. We even started a contemporary service on Saturday evenings and Tyson was the one who preached the sermon for this service. I am not going to tell you our lives were perfect from then on out though, because we still had obstacles we had to get through. We did get through them together though and with God’s help. …
Unfortunately, this is not where my story ends. Life is great for a little while and then here comes Satan to seek and destroy our happy little family. Tyson gets drawn right back into the porn on the computer. …
The church board got together and since Tyson was the associate minister at the church, they decided to pay for his schooling. … That is why it was such a shock to me when I found out Tyson once again was drawn back to the Internet. At this point I am so confused on what I should do. We have a precious child in our lives now and Tyson was taking classes in order to become a minister! …
I had been over at a friend’s house having our weekly Monday night movie session. I came home that evening and was in the mood to make love to my husband. After a few minutes of trying to get things heated up, he was not getting in the mood. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t getting into it. I put two and two together and asked him if he had been on the computer. At first he denied being on there, but eventually he came clean. I can always tell when he is lying to me. … I was so tired of revisiting this same exact issue over and over again. …
Then one day I went to the church to visit with our pastor and some how the topic of the internet and all the crap that was on it came up in our conversation. He mentioned that there was a program called XXX Church you could install on your computer for free to monitor what was being done on the computer. I thought wow, how great is that, that is exactly what I need! God was sure working in a mighty way that day. …
I should be happy right? I sure would be if the devil would leave my precious family alone. I would love to tell you, and we all lived happily ever after, but I have come to realize there is no such thing as “Happily Ever After”. The devil is always lurking behind every corner trying to destroy happy, Christian families. Our family is certainly no exception, especially now that Tyson has been ordained and is a Preacher at Allenville Christian Church. He has even started a men’s ministry called “True Manhood Ministries”, in order to try and help other men who battle with this same addiction. Although he is a preacher and a counselor now, you would think he would be able to stay away from that crap, but the devil doesn’t allow that. Tyson still struggles with the Internet. …
So, all along when I thought Tyson had won the battle with porn, which he had, he had fallen into the chat world. He says it is all a game to him. He does not care who or what the other person is on the other end of the computer, as long as they will tell him what he wants to hear. He says it is a sick mind game he plays. He knows it is wrong and that it is so stupid, but he can’t help himself. Through counseling he has learned it is all rooted back to his childhood. At the very young age of 13 Tyson learned to masturbate to movies he watched on HBO late at night when everyone else was in bed for the night. …
Tyson and I continue to deal with his addiction, but with the both of us working together, harder than ever, the devil doesn’t stand a chance. …
I give all of the credit for where Tyson and I are in our marriage now, to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. …
Sleazy pickup: Malia Graves also reveals how the couple met: She flagged him down on a cruise strip (”I looked over and seen this really cute guy in his car”), had him follow her and her girlfriend to a True Value parking lot, and then invited him into their car. Such… propriety!
And another big sin: Malia Graves was on The Pill:
A little over a year and a half after Bryce was born we find out, to our amazement that I was pregnant with our second child! I had had some dental work done and was on some antibiotics. The dentist and pharmacist both failed to inform me that I needed to take other precautions with birth control since the antibiotic I was on would cancel out my birth control. I was still trying to find the correct birth control for my system after the birth of my first child…
So? So, we surmise the Graveses are essentially Calvinists — and John Calvin wrote (commenting on Genesis 38:10, within the story of Onan) that contraception is murder:
I will contend myself with briefly mentioning this, as far as the sense of shame allows to discuss it. It is a horrible thing to pour out seed besides the intercourse of man and woman. Deliberately avoiding the intercourse, so that the seed drops on the ground, is double horrible. For this means that one quenches the hope of his family, and kills the son, which could be expected, before he is born. This wickedness is now as severely as is possible condemned by the Spirit, through Moses, that Onan, as it were, through a violent and untimely birth, tore away the seed of his brother out the womb, and as cruel as shamefully has thrown on the earth. Moreover he thus has, as much as was in his power, tried to destroy a part of the human race. When a woman in some way drives away the seed out the womb, through aids, then this is rightly seen as an unforgivable crime. Onan was guilty of a similar crime, by defiling the earth with his seed, so that Tamar would not receive a future inheritor.
By taking The Pill, Malia Graves was indeed “driv[ing] away the seed out the womb, through aids.”
Memorable quotes:
True Manhood Ministries Launches in June 07′
June kicked off the ministry True Manhood Ministries with a testimony meeting in Tuscola at the Nazarene Church. A man named Tyson Graves the founder of True Manhood Ministries told his story and how he answered the call to start a ministry in the area to help free men from the sexual bondages they can get tangled up in. It was a blessed evening and we can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for this ministry!. . .
October 20, 2007— Tyson from True Manhood Ministries spoke to 22 men from the Arthur area at a men’s meeting on Thursday night. It was a night of Food and Fellowship and dodging the storms in the outdoors. It was a blessed evening and hope many men were encouraged to pursue a life of purity.
— True Manhood Ministries Web site
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Graves:
He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight.— Psalm 101:7
Suggested Bible reading for Mrs. Graves:
A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.— Proverbs 9:13
No related posts.
Leave Malia out of this. Real evil lurks in everyones home. You and YOUR website are evil for attacking her, marring her name. Malia is good and kind. A gentle woman, do not pass judgement. It sounds as if you are committing that sin.
Dear “friend”:
Since you obviously haven’t the first clue about the reason for the existence of Conservative Babylon, I’ll explain it to you:
First, you’re barking up the wrong tree with your talk of “sin” and “evil.” I don’t believe in the concept of sin. There is good, and there is bad, and I don’t give a hoot about anything that occurs within the confines of anyone’s private life, as long as it has no effect on anything or anyone else.
But when people who claim to be moral arbiters for the rest of us, and prop up the sick, corrupted, aborted system of modern Christianity that makes my life a living hell every single day of the week, all bets are off.
Until these sexual-purity crusaders stop pushing their “moral” standards on everyone else, I’ll go right on exposing them as the hypocrites they — and their religion that’s supposed to “heal” and “cure” and “save” — really are.
As soon as every last one of them shuts up and keeps their unwanted, unwelcome religion as private as they’d like to keep their sex lives, I’ll shut this site down and throw the biggest party in the world.
The ball’s in their court, not mine. They started this. They are welcome to end it. All they have to do is stop trying to bend our government to the dictates of their twisted religion, stop trying to “save” us when we don’t need any salvation (especially from the countless preacher-boys who can’t seem to keep their zippers up), and leave the rest of us alone. (Refraining from accosting us on street corners, subways, and cable TV would be a lovely bonus, but I doubt they have that much willpower.)
As for judging others, I’m only playing on the field they constructed.
They can end this ugly little game anytime they choose.
As for Malia, I couldn’t care less if she’s on The Pill (in fact, I wish more women were!), or if she wants to stick with such a sleazebag of a husband — that’s her decision, and her problem. I don’t claim to understand Stockholm syndrome any better than I do quantum physics.
Unfortunately, Malia is part of the problem. She is a willing participant in the system that makes my life hell. She is an enabler of the patriarchy that tries to control women, gay people, and anyone else who is not a white, Christian heterosexual, through fear, intimidation, and brute force. That makes her my oppressor.
P.S. As for “evil,” in the Christian sense, there’s no such thing. There is rationale, and there is mental illness. Guess which is more likely to lead to kindness, and which is more likely to lead to cruelty? And guess which way the Promise Keepers variety of modern Christianity leans?
I am so sad to hear of your thoughts, you must be quite a scorned individual. Christianity is about love, and forgiveness as well as discipline. The bottome line is all you need is to genuinely be sorry for your sins and believe that Jesus dies for you– I get the feeling you think it is about being perfect. LOL — NO ONE human being on Earth is perfect. The bottom line is that everyone sins. Yes we believe homosexuality and sexual impurity is wrong, so is eating too much, not exercising, cursing, lying, stealing, etc… The reason being is that sin leads to one place, it all hurts someone— yourself or worse yet, another human being, so we do our God given best not to hurt another. It is sad what happened with Tyson, I am appalled. His struggles are probably going to be life long. As for Malia, maybe she is an enabler, none the less, not worthy of your cruel words. If you know her, you would know she wouldnt harm a person deliberately. May peace be with you, I hope you think about changing your words about her. I hope you think about my words. I hope they run through your mind and heart for an eternity. God Bless You!
“Scorned”? You obviously don’t know the half of it. When every last leader of every last sect of mainstream Christianity (save for Quakers and the UCC) demonizes _you_ as evil, “intrinsically disordered,” a child molester, and a threat to the very foundation of society, compares you regularly to the Nazis, and calls for the literal eradication of you and everyone like you — then you can talk to me about being “scorned.”
Believe me, there is _nothing_ “loving” about Christianity as it is practiced by the majority of Americans today. It is judgmental, hypocritical, and cruel. Its leaders are liars and bullies. And I want no part of it — yet you people will not leave me alone. You will not take no for an answer.
_Your_ messiah commanded:
“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” (Matt. 6:5-6)
And Paul (whom your people like to quote so often to justify your condemnation of homosexuality) wrote:
“And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you” (1 Thess. 4:11)
But your people dismiss these words as nonchalantly as you do all the Levitical laws that don’t suit your “modern” lifestyle (tell me, do you refrain from eating pork and shellfish? do you avoid wearing cloth of mixed fibers? do you isolate yourself during your period, and burn everything you’ve touched afterwards?).
You protest: “Oh, but we have a new covenant now!” while simultaneously cherry-picking the same ancient verses in order to justify condemnation of everyone and everything that doesn’t suit your worldview. Never mind that Jesus said not one iota of Old Testament law can be ignored (Matt. 5:18-19), because that would be too inconvenient for you.
You really don’t get it: I don’t care what you believe, as long your beliefs don’t encroach on my life. I don’t even care if you disapprove of homosexuality — disapprove all you want! I disapprove, strongly, of people who give birth to more than two children — I believe it is irresponsible, and places a burden on (and does actual harm to) the rest of the population — and yet you don’t see me trying to prevent anyone from having as many children as they want.
So, believe whatever you want, but stop trying to force everyone else to believe as you do, and worse, live as you do.
The bottom line is: We want you to leave us alone — and you feel compelled to “witness” to us and try to convert us (except for a few Jews you need to stay un-”saved” as your “blood atonement” for the Rapture) — and when that doesn’t work, you try to force us to live as Christians by mucking about with the law. _Secular_ law. (”Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s” [Matt. 22:21] isn’t just about paying taxes, you know.)
And all the time, your leaders accuse _us_ of “recruiting”! The irony — and hypocrisy — is so thick, you couldn’t get through it with a backhoe. But you’re too brainwashed to see your leaders projecting — onto us — exactly what they (and you) are guilty of.
As I told you before, if Christians would stop persecuting gay people (and that’s another thing your people need to get straight: _you_ are persecuting _us_, not the other way around, no matter how dear your self-imposed martyr-victim complex is to you), I would be more than happy to leave Christians — and Christianity — alone.
And, by the way, you don’t need to teach me about Christianity — I was a Christian, before I found the courage to examine and understand the absurdities I believed without question. I’ll stick with the reality-based words of Galileo — “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use” — before I agree to forego my intellect again, thanks very much.
I hope you too one day find the courage to take a good, long, rational look at what (you think) you believe; you’ll find life much more pleasant when you’re not spending every waking moment in fear of a wrathful god _man_ created in _his_ own image.
Believe me, I know the rules, and the finer points, of Christianity better than 90% of all Christians out there. As a matter of fact, you’re the one who needs to study your bible; you wrote: “I get the feeling you think it is about being perfect.”
_Your_ messiah commanded:
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” (Matt. 5:48)
You also wrote:
“The reason being is that sin leads to one place, it all hurts someone— yourself or worse yet, another human being, so we do our God given best not to hurt another.”
You think you can justify that _my_ homosexuality hurts _you_, or anyone else? You can try, but you can’t.
On the other hand, I can prove to you without a doubt that your persecution of gay people and anyone else not like you causes more measurable damage than you could ever bear to know about.
The same goes for Malia. I’m certain neither of you would knowingly, “deliberately” harm another human being, yet that is exactly what both of you are doing. That is exactly what every right-of-center Christian is doing. You just refuse to see the real, genuine harm of your own actions, much less acknowledge it.
“Scorned.” You really have no clue.
Wow, such hatred. I don’t know what happened in your background to create such vitriol and malevolence, but it must have been awful.
The irony of all this is that you’re stereotyping all Christians and treating them in the same judgmental way that you accuse of them. I’m assuming you don’t know Tyson or his wife and yet you have categorized and branded them in a way that obviously suits your political and personal agenda.
I don’t know his wife, but I do know Tyson and was in his men’s group for a time. His group only sought to help men with their struggles with pornography and obsessive sexual behavior. Neither he nor the group made any judgments about the members, or sought to tell them how to live their lives. It was a refuge and place of support for men who struggled, of which I was one, and it was very helpful to me.
Obviously, Tyson, nor any of us are perfect. However, God, through the sacrifice of his Son, provides a means for us to be forgiven and seek to be better than we have been. I hope some day you can understand that. Until then I will pray for you.
You missed the boat, “Concerned.” We don’t stereotype “all Christians” — you don’t see us ragging on good guys like Desmond Tutu, do you? — but Tyson Graves is a Promise Keeper. ferpetessakes. What don’t you understand about that? Do you think PKs are all about love and acceptance, and the real Jesus-flavored concept of let-and-let-live? If so, you’re deluded.
Ya think, just maybe, when people like Tyson Graves cling to, support, and keep enabling hate groups like the PKs that actively work to destroy anyone who isn’t a god-fearin’, hetero Christian, and take away our rights, and sometimes murder us in the streets, ya THINK ya might allow us to be pissed off once in a while? Is that too much to ask of some of you “Christians” who think just because you, personally, aren’t murdering us in the streets, ALL are above reproach?
I’d rather you spent the time you’d waste praying for me on something more productive, like reining in the Christians In Name Only who are making my life hell. They’re your people, not mine.
P.S. The only thing that ever happened in my “background” was this monster called the Radical Religious Right that’s attempting to shred the Constitution and turn the clock back to the good old days when “Christians” like you burned heretics like me at the stake with impunity. If you’re attempting to psychoanalyze me, save your keystrokes and your most un-clever inferences; my “background” was so wholesome and idyllic, my family makes The Brady Bunch look like the Santeria cult.