Scott Murray
Video after the jump.
Claims to fame: Former pastor, New Covenant Church, Clyde, North Carolina; perv; thief; klutz
Moral apex: In 2008, broke into a woman’s home, rummaged through her drawers, and stole an un-described “sex toy,” a container of personal lubricant, and a pair of the woman’s panties.
What’s even funnier: The woman came home and surprised Murray; he fled the scene by running outside, where he jumped over a railing, ran for the woods, and then fell and broke his leg.
Charges: Felony burglary, grand larceny (known in N.C. as “felonious larceny”) and possession of stolen property.
Grand larceny? Felony theft? Yep — which makes us really, really curious about the value of that “sex toy”!
(“It would appear,” agreed The Weekly Vice, “that the device stolen would have to be a bit more elaborate than just an ordinary vibrator. All three charges were felonies, which hints that the item stolen would have been worth greater than $500. But even at that high of a cost, I’m not sure I’d want the thing back…. would you?”)
Plea: Guilty to the breaking-and-entering felony larceny charges, thus avoiding having to stand trial for second-degree burglary and felony possession of stolen goods.
Sentence: Two years’ supervised probation.
Memorable headlines:
Adult Christianity
“Yes Jesus Lubes You“
OBB News
“Pastor Accused Of Grand Theft Dildo“
Anorak News
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Murray:
Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? thou that preachest a man should not steal, dost thou steal?— Romans 2:21
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