Conservative Babylon

Mary Kay Letourneau — in whom we have more than a passing interest solely because she is the daughter of late (and ever-so-nasty) Conservative Babylonian John Schmitz* — is now a grandmother.

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Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Sentenced: Mary Deya, wife of Kenyan “Miracle Babies” televangelist Gilbert Juma Deya (who claims to cure infertility in women through prayer), to three years in prison for stealing a baby from a Kenya hospital in 2005, as well as two counts of “giving false information”; Mrs. Deya claimed she had given birth to a “miracle baby” in a taxi. This is Mrs. Deya’s second such conviction; in 2007, notes KBC, Mrs. Deya, “who was popularly known for giving birth to Miracle babies served two years after she was found guilty of stealing a baby.” Mrs. Deya’s lawyer asked the court for leniency because she “has been a subject of public ridicule concerning the matter in question and the court should put into consideration the fact that she has previously been jailed for a related offense” (a defense which makes no more sense to us than it does to you). Story: KBC, January 28, 2011; Capital FM Kenya, January 28, 2011; The Standard, January 29, 2011. Just last week, Paul Otieno Deya, 32, nephew and adopted son of Gilbert Deya, was convicted of the murder of his three-year-old son. Story: Conservative Babylon, January 23, 2011. Meanwhile, Gilbert Deya is still in the U.K., and still fighting extradition from the U.K. to Kenya, where he is wanted on multiple counts of baby-stealing and trafficking. (more…)

Claims to fame: Jamaica-born senior pastor & overseer, Harvest Worship Center International, Wakefield, New York; principal, Harvest Preparatory Academy, Bronx, New York; director, northeast region, World Harvest Church Ministerial Fellowship (WHCMF), headed by rabidly homophobic mega-church pastor Rod Parsley; member, Potter’s House International Pastoral Alliance (PHIPA), headed by rabidly homophobic Trinity Broadcasting Network televangelist T.D. Jakes (whose son was arrested in a “gay sex sting” in 2009, and who has long been rumored to be on the down low himself); self-described “devoted husband and father”; accused child rapist and bastard sire (more…)

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Guilty: Jacob Allen Conder, 24, former minister & youth director, Wing Avenue Baptist Church, Owensboro, Kentucky, & former Daviess County deputy constable, to four more counts of sexual abuse of a teenage girl. This is Conder’s second conviction for similar crimes in as many months; the first conviction convinced two other victims to come forward. Story: Conservative Babylon, November 5, 2010; Courier-Journal, January 25, 2011 (more…)

See main entry for Susan Brock

See all entries for Susan Brock

It sounds to us like Susan Brock has something (besides the obvious) in common with another child molester in the news recently: Their shared church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is spinning like mad regarding what church officials knew about Brock’s ongoing sexual abuse of a 13-year-old boy, and the story they’re spinning makes us wonder about… a lot of things. (more…)

See main entry for Ted Haggard

See all entries for Ted Haggard

The reason is simple: We are inundated with comment spam.

For every valid comment we get, there are — honestly — 200 to 300 spam comments.

We’ve blocked every IP address in Russia, the Ukraine, half of Europe, most of South America, almost all of Southeast Asia, the entire continent of Africa, and at least three dozen spamhauses within the U.S, and yet it keeps coming, and we can’t find the magic spell to stop it. The spammers are so far ahead of us, we can’t keep up.

This does not mean legitimate visitors with something to say cannot comment. If you are a carbon-based life form (and not a spambot), you will read our Privacy Policy/TOS, and follow the instructions for contacting us. (more…)

See main entry for Andrew Shirvell

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One of many, many mainstream news reports:

Former Michigan assistant attorney general Andrew Shirvell was warned about using state resources to launch anti-gay attacks on politicians two months before he began targeting the University of Michigan’s student body president, newly released documents show.

The earlier warning stemmed from an e-mail Shirvell sent at 11:57 a.m. Feb. 3 to a former state representative before a protest planned at the Capitol building. The nature of the protest isn’t clear.

“The grassroots will NEVER let you and your (gay slur) ….. hijack our pro-life, pro-family party in pursuit of your PERVETED radical homosexual agenda,” Shirvell wrote to former state Rep. Leon Drolet and others. …

Read on: “Report details past problems with former Michigan assistant AG who targeted U-M student body president with anti-gay attacks,” AnnArbor.com, January 23, 2011

Claims to fame: Republican New York state senator (Perinton, 1996-); former New York state assemblyman; poster boy for frivolous lawsuits; genus hypocriticus ginormicus

Moral apex: Sued a constituent when he broke his leg after entering the constituent’s unoccupied home without permission.

Oh, but wait! We haven’t gotten anywhere near the best part. (more…)

Claims to fame: Montana state senator (Dist. 45); former Montana House rep; lawyer; ex-Marine; Mason; Republican; crusader for harsher drunk-driving laws; astounding hypocrite

Moral apex: Cited January 14, 2011, for having an open container of alcohol in his car. (more…)

Claims to fame: Republican Florida state rep from Miami; chair, Governmental Operations Committee; vice chair, Education Appropriations Committee; vice chair, Insurance Committee; chair, Republican National Hispanic Assembly; former committeeman, Republican Party of Florida; former executive director, Republican Party of Miami-Dade County; Catholic; dude with a curious string of bad luck (which, of course, is not his fault!) involving mistaken identities, mail trucks, and money (more…)

See main entry for Susan Brock

See all entries for Susan Brock

Setencing is scheduled for March 16, 2011.

Listen to the “beach house” tape:

Claims to fame: Momentary Republican candidate, U.S. House of Representatives, Maryland, 2010 (withdrew); failed Republican state senate candidate, Maryland’s 8th District, 2010; Teabaggy wingnut; Eagle Scout; ex-U.S. Marine; self-described liar & sociopath; accused burglar

Moral apex: Busted in November, 2010, on suspicion of breaking into two different jewelry stores, just weeks after he was completely slaughtered in the Republican primary for state senate by Dee Hodges, 72%-28%. But we’ll get back to his arrest in a moment. First, let’s see just what sort of person Benjamin Lawless is. (more…)

Claims to fame: Former Oneida County, Wisconsin, Court Clerk; failed Republican candidate for same office; adulteress

Moral apex: While married, carried on an extramarital affair with sheriff’s deputy Steven Ramm “while he was on duty, in uniform and in the county courthouse.” (more…)

We’re still catching up with the Conservative Babylon Class of 2010 — some we covered previously, some Babylonians we missed entirely, but all of whom deserve recognition (read: exposure) as holier-than-thou right-wingers who can’t seem to live up to the impossible “family values” standards they demand of everyone else. (No, we don’t know how many parts there will be to our catch-up.) In no particular order…

And They Were Sooo Ready to Blame Teh Gheyz: When arson fires burned two Mormon meetinghouses in Salt Lake City in October, Mormon apologists were quick to blame the gay community; typical was a comment at the Mormon Apologetics & Discussion Board attempting to tie the arsonist to “an extreme terroristic style Gay and Lesbian group who are very militant and brag about vandalism and destroying LDS Church Property,” and another at LDS Freedom Forum stating that “the Catholics have been targeted by the gays for years and so it is not new. The homosexual activists will go after those who do not conform to their ideal — however, they will not mess with Muslims because they are afraid of them and they will not mess with Orthodox Jews because it would make them look anti-Semite [sic] in the press.” And then there were the outright , unfounded accusations such as this comment at the Salt Lake Tribune: “Patrick Ehat is gay and said he did it as revenge. Why does the trib edit this out?” Never mind that Patrick Ehat, Brigham Young University student and Mormon priest who served his two-year mission in Brazil, reportedly told police he set the fires “because he ‘believed the LDS Church had lied to him’” after he was arrested and charged with two counts each of arson, criminal mischief and burglary in connection with the fires. And never mind that it was Ehat’s girlfriend who tipped off Ehat’s father (who then convinced Ehat to turn himself in). (more…)

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Arrested: Francis M. Buckner, Jr., 38, employee, Vernon Parish School Board, and children’s worship volunteer, East Leesville Baptist Church, Leesville, Louisiana, for possession of child pornography. Story: Louisiana State Police, January 19, 2011; Leesville Daily Leader, January 20, 2011 (more…)

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Accused: Dustin Cassady, 29, Mormon priest (they all are at this age) of Carmichael, California (a suburb of Sacramento), who “told agents he worked with children at a Mormon Church in the area,” of distributing child pornography. We have much, much more information about Dustin Cassady (from his employer to when and where he was married to where he went on his two-year Mormon mission), but will wait to share everything until we have confirmation from the mainstream media that we do, indeed, have the right Dustin Cassady. Stay tuned. Story: News10.net, January 21, 2011 (more…)

Hit our links for the backstory, and you too will agree: Six months isn’t nearly enough for this monster:

• “Stephen L. McPherson, Pat Robertson’s Ex-Assistant Dean, Sentenced to 16 Years for Rape of His Three Underage Adopted Daughters,” June 17, 2009

• “Melina McPherson Free on Bond,” September 8, 2009

• “Stephen McPherson Gets Another Three Years for ‘Indecent Liberties’ With Teenage Girls,” September 17, 2009

• “Accused Teen-Molester Melina McPherson’s Bond Reinstated,” December 8, 2009

And now, the abominable miscarriage of justice:

Claims to fame: Former Utah state senator (2003-10); state senate majority leader (2008-10); Mormon; drunk driver; hypocrite to the nth degree

Moral apex: Arrested January 15, 2010, on a DUI. Quit the state senate the next day. Waited more than year to plead guilty (on January 19, 2011). (more…)

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

New charges: Michael J. “Mike” Cimmino, 54, religion teacher, St, Thomas More Parish, and “Bear Den Leader” (Cub Scouts), Pack 22, sponsored by the First Congregational Church, Braintree, Massachusetts, originally charged with one count each of kidnapping and assault with intent to rape a child, and eight counts of indecent assault and battery on a child under 14, to which he has pleaded not guilty; with a new charge of indecent sexual assault, allegedly against a second child victim. Story: Conservative Babylon, January 6, 2011; Wicked Local, January 13, 2011; Patriot Ledger, January 13, 2011; BraintreePatch, January 17, 2011 (more…)

See main entry for “Dr.” Laura Schlessinger

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We considered posting a more recent picture of “Dr.” Laura Schlessinger, but when you watch this video, you’ll realize there’s really been no change at all — and that, actually, we’re being kind. Seriously, what has Ms. Biological Error done to her twisted-by-evil face since — have her back teeth removed?

Oh, and by the way, if you’re going to watch this Revenge-Adore-Fest, watch it now since hulu.com has a habit of yanking videos long before you’re ready to see them go: (more…)

See main entry for Ken Kratz

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Former Wisconsin District Attorney Kenneth Kratz argued today that it was through the “conduct, negligence and behavior” of Stephanie Van Groll that she came to sue him for sending sexually explicit text messages while he was handling her domestic abuse case.

It gets… better, for lack of another word. Full scumbaggery: TPMMuckraker, January 17, 2011

Claims to fame: Former Cottonwood Heights, Utah, police officer; former police chief, South Salt Lake; former Salt Lake County undersheriff; failed candidate for Salt Lake County sheriff; failed candidate for U.S. Congress; former Democrat-turned-Republican; devout Mormon; accused thief (more…)

Video after the jump.

Meet Dave and Wendy Bitner, stars of our Sanctity of Submissiveness Story of the Month. We’ll get back to Dave and Wendy in a moment. First, we want to return to a question we asked just a few short weeks ago:

We think we know the answer now. (more…)

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Sentenced: Robert Michael Black, former pastor, New Home Baptist Church, St. Joseph, Missouri; girls’ basketball coach, Fort Osage Youth Basketball League; husband; father of three; to five years in prison after pleading guilty to one count of attempted enticement of a child. Black was arrested in an online sting after exchanging sexually explicit photos and attempting to arrange a “date” with what he thought was a 13-year-old girl, who turned out to be an undercover detective. Story: Conservative Babylon, August 13, 2009; Kansas City Star, January 14, 2011 (more…)