Matthew Moynihan (R-Teabaggery, Tenn.)
Claims to fame: Staunch Republican; founder, Sumner County Tea Party organization “Sumner United for Responsible Government,” Hendersonville, Tennessee; Glenn Beck “912“-er; apparent “wholehearted” free- (not fair-) market & sovereignty supporter & promoter; former political columnist, Gallatin News Examiner and Hendersonville Star News; husband; father of young son; suspected hooker’s john; apparent biblical adulterer (Matt. 5:28)
Facebook likes include: Atlas Shrugged (by “Ayn Rand, the sociopathic champion of capitalism who penned three-billion-page novels dedicated to the proposition that selfishness was the world’s greatest virtue“); “Curing liberals”; rabidly anti-gay hate group American Family Association; rabidly anti-gay suspected beard Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann; rabidly anti-gay, racist, misogynistic “Bigot from Bombay” Dinesh D’Souza; rabidly anti-gay punch line Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum; anti-gay twit Christine O’Donnell; anti-gay bazillionairess, failed California gubernatorial candidate, current Hewlett-Packard CEO, ex-eBay CEO & Quaker Oats guy lookalike Meg Whitman; anti-everything Arizona guv Jan Brewer; scary, extremist, wannabe Constitution-rewriters ReFounders; Brent Bozell’s Media Research Center; National Republican Senatorial Committee; Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC); Christian YouTube imitator GodVine; Jesus Christ by Global Scope Ministries; fellow Conservative Babylonian Rush Limbaugh; and another 100 or so other hardcore right-wing groups, activists, Faux News-style political hacks, and assorted dimwits.
Moral apex: Busted February 16, 2012, in a prostitution sting at a Nashville motel. Per The Tennessean, and pretty much every other news outlet, it’s a short story: “Moynihan, 38, of Hendersonville, went to a hotel at 250 Athens Way and allegedly agreed to have sex with an undercover police officer for $100 for half an hour, according to a police affidavit.”
Hey, wait a minute! Brady Banks, a relatively liberal Democrat, was arrested in that very same sting, too! Why are you ignoring that? We’re not ignoring it. We think it’s a downright shame, especially since Mister “Clean Living And Rock-Solid Character” Banks is married (to a minister, no less), and the father of a baby girl.
But: Brady Banks has never been known to oppress anyone else by injecting his religious beliefs into politics or to use his position to curtail anyone else’s equality. As far as we can discern, he’s never tried to prevent gay and lesbian Americans from getting married, or tried to outlaw contraception, or force a woman to undergo an ultrasound when all she wants is a safe, legal abortion. If he ever does (or if he ever has, and we find out about it), we’ll be all over him like white on rice, no matter what his party affiliation.
So, as far as we’re concerned, as long as Brady Banks doesn’t interfere with anybody else’s personal life, we won’t care what he does with his. This is how we apply a little something we like to call “The Bill Clinton Yardstick”. As we asked in the introduction to ConBab, written all the way back in 2003:
“Whose moral-value judgment do you trust more: that of Bill Clinton, who got a hummer in the Oval Office and then lied about it, or that of the august body of convicted felons, child molesters, suspected rapists, adulterers, serial gropers, and deadbeat dads hell-bent on impeaching him for that blowie after their multi-million-dollar Whitewater investigation turned up nada?”
More specifically, when sizing up a potential Conservative Babylonian, we ask ourselves: “Is this person a right-wing, ‘family values’ type who hates gays, oppresses women, and/or expresses an irrational fear/loathing of liberals, and then goes out and does something 180 degrees in opposition to the ‘moral’ standard he or she claims to own, and uses as a cudgel against everybody he or she doesn’t like?”
Bill Clinton, no. Brady Banks, no. Matthew Moynihan? Most certainly yes.
That’s why Moynihan enjoys the honor of joining the ranks of Conservative Babylonians, and Brady Banks doesn’t.
That said…
Memorable quotes:
“Successful marketing and communications professional with more than 14 years of experience in a variety of industries. Respected as a dynamic strategist, hands-on leader, and award-winning creative thinker that [sic] shapes public perception, improves corporate brand image, and moves targeted audiences to action. …“Principled, skilled leader who collaborates with clients, senior executives, subject matter experts, as well as marketing creative and delivery teams to build consensus, align vision and deliver on promises with sensible financial stewardship. …”
— Matt Moynihan
Director of Marketing Strategy, Brand Aid Design Co., LLC
“Your Christian faith is not something you can take on and off at the door. It’s part of you, who you are and how you view the world.”
— Matt Moynihan
October, 2011
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Moynihan:
I have seen also in the prophets of Jerusalem an horrible thing: they commit adultery, and walk in lies: they strengthen also the hands of evildoers, that none doth return from his wickedness; they are all of them unto me as Sodom, and the inhabitants thereof as Gomorrah.— Jeremiah 23:14
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