Ted Nugent, we are told, used to have some sort of involvement with The Devil’s Music, a.k.a. Rock And/Or Roll. We doubt he could have been any sort of rock star, as rock stars seldom achieve any measure of success without following one of the greatest tenets of the Holy Bible: “Live and let live.”
What? The Bible doesn’t say “Live and let live”? Anywhere? Oh. Well, then, let’s amend that: Rock And/Or Roll stars seldom achieve any measure of success by clinging to violently judgmental, hypocritical words and actions. This is why John Lennon was a rock star, and Pat Boone is just a living, breathing punch line who made his money bleach-whitening corrupted versions of deep, rich R&B tunes.
Conservative Family Values
He has had two wives and has eight children, including three out of wedlock in two liaisons almost 30 years apart. In the late 1960s, prior to his first marriage, Nugent fathered a boy, Ted (Mann) and a girl, whom he gave up for adoption in infancy. This did not become public knowledge until 2010. The siblings were adopted separately and had no contact with one another. The son learned the identity of his birth father in 2010 through the daughter’s quest to make contact with him and their birth parents. According to a news report, Nugent over the years had discussed the existence of these children with his other children. [link]
In 2005 Nugent was involved in a legal battle for not paying enough child support for a child he had out of wedlock in 1995. [link] It was finally resolved when Nugent was ordered to pay $3,500 in child support. [link]
He was married to his first wife, Sandra Jezowski, from 1970 to 1979. They had three children, son Theodore Tobias “Toby” Nugent, and daughters Sasha and Starr Nugent. Sandra died in a car crash in 1982. His second marriage was to Shemane Deziel, whom he met while a guest on Detroit’s WLLZ-FM, where she was a member of the news staff. They married on January 21, 1989. Together they have two children, son Rocco Winchester Nugent, and daughter Chantal Nugent.
In 1978, Nugent began a relationship with seventeen-year-old Hawaii native Pele Massa. Due to the age difference they could not marry so Nugent joined Massa’s parents in signing documents to make himself her legal guardian, an arrangement that Spin magazine ranked in October 2000 as #63 on their list of the “100 Sleaziest Moments in Rock.” [link] [link]
In any case, this Ted Nugent person claims to have had something to do with The Devil’s Music, but all we know about him is that he is an attention-whoring, minor reality-show “star” who positively salivates at the idea of killing things, and thinks you are stupid if you do not take the same pleasure in stalking, killing, exsanguinating, and stripping the skin from sinewy muscle.
Usually, his death-lust, at least in practice (and at least as far as we know), has been restricted to animal slaughter. Now, however, Mr. Nugent has managed to shoot off his mouth and shoot himself in the foot, simultaneously. This time, you see, the Secret Service has had more than enough of the craggy old blowhard’s poisonous huffing and puffing.
We were surprised the men and women in the ultra-cool Foster Grants didn’t take more interest in Mr. Nugent’s “vicious onstage rant” of 2007; as related by Rolling Stone: “Decked out in full-on camouflage hunting gear, Nugent wielded two machine guns while raging, ‘Obama, he’s a piece of
No, to get the agents’ attention, it took a crystal-clear, unequivocal call for the assassination of the President of the United States and that of every other Democrat in his crosshairs.
Stumping for Mitt Romney (more about his stunning hypocrisy with regard to this issue coming shortly) at a National Rifle Association (NRA) convention, Nugent called Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton “criminals” and admonished the crowd: “If you can’t go home and get everybody in your lives to clean house in this vile, evil, America-hating administration, I don’t even know what you’re made of.”
Then he released the hammer, encouraging his fellow gun-porn lovers to release a literal hammer:
“If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year. If you can’t galvanize and promote and recruit people to vote for Mitt Romney, we’re done.”
And then, referring to Democrats in general:
“We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November. Any questions?”
And now the Secret Service wants to have a chat with Mr. Nugent.
Our only question: What took so long?
• “Ted Nugent – Vietnam War Draft Dodger – defecated/urinated in pants 10 days – ‘I did not want to get my ass blown off in Vietnam’”
LiveLeak.com, August 17, 2009
• “NRA homophobe Ted Nugent pens bigoted piece for cult newspaper. Is the NRA’s homophobia showing?”
John Aravosis, AMERICAblog, May 4, 2011
• “Ted Nugent Stumps for Mitt Romney at NRA Convention: ‘Chop their heads off in November’”
Right Wing Watch, April 16, 2012
• “Romney Supporter Nugent Admitted to Multiple Affairs With Underage Girls in ’98 VH1 Documentary”
Crooks and Liars, April 17, 2012
• “Ted Nugent Rebuffs Democratic Attacks: ‘I’m a Black Jew at a Nazi-Klan Rally’”
Devin Dwyer, ABC News, April 17, 2012
• “Ted Nugent’s anti-Obama tirade is same old song by music industry’s resident loudmouth: Right wing rocker is known for his outbursts on immigrants, Middle Eastern policy and liberals”
David Hinckley, New York Daily News, April 18, 2012
• “The Time Ted Nugent Shot Guns With the Secret Service”
Josh Harkinson, Mother Jones, April 18, 2012
P.S. Yes, we’re kidding about not knowing who Ted Nugent is — or, at least, who he used to be. We’ve just been having more fun than usual lately faking out people with no sense of humor (i.e., conservatives). Anyway, yeah, we knew about Ted Nugent back in the 1970s… and we didn’t like him any more then than we do now. Bleeech!
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