It’s Slammer Time! “Reverend” MC Hammer Arrested, Lashes Out By Repeatedly Mocking Cop’s Weight & Implying Jail Injected Him with Syphilis

Stanley Kirk Burrell, a.k.a. MC HammerStanley Kirk Burrell, the flash-in-the-pan musical spectacle and living punch line better known as MC Hammer, and now traveling Pentecostal preacher (he had his own show, “M.C. Hammer and Friends” — which, despite the sound of the title, was not a cartoon, although its host might be considered such — on Paul Crouch‘s TBN), was arrested in Dublin, Caifornia, Thursday night after an altercation with a cop, resulting in charges of resisting a police officer and obstructing a police officer in the performance of his duties.

Hammer — which is his legal name (and he says the “MC” now stands for “Man of Christ” *eyeroll*) — claims he was the victim of racial profiling. That could very well be — getting busted for driving while black happens all the time — but we don’t know; we weren’t there.

We do know one thing: White people get pulled over for driving with expired tags, too. Dublin police, reports CNN, “said Hammer was in a vehicle with expired registration and he was not the registered owner.”

(The trick to not getting your ass hauled in over something as minor as expired tags is not to act like a jerk. And, while we don’t know if Hammer acted like a jerk, our assessment of his maturity level leads us to guess there wasn’t a whole lot of “Yes, sir,” “No, sir,” and “May I reach into my pocket to get my license, sir?” going on.)[1]

What we find appalling is Hammer taking to Twitter to publicly blast the cop (who doesn’t have over 3.1 million Twitter followers, we’re sure) by way of repeatedly mocking the officer’s weight, accusing the cop of being dangerous and having an agenda, and then insinuating that police injected him with syphilis, disguised as a skin test.

Really, is this any way for a “Man of Christ” to behave…?

Maybe Hammer hasn’t watched as many episodes of “Cops” as we have, but that seems to be a pretty routine question. (We don’t know, but we expect the question is quite common in the East Bay of the San Francisco metropolitan area; Dublin, a fairly quiet bedroom community that wants to stay quiet, butts up uncomfortably against numerous high-crime areas comprising the Oakland sprawl.)

Administration of a skin test for tuberculosis is standard procedure in numerous California jails — including Alameda County jails — during intake.

Meanwhile, to refer to the victims of the Tuskegee syphilis experiment is simply ignorant. The men betrayed and exploited as guinea pigs by the U.S. government were not injected with syphilis — they already had it.

We bet: After the above display of immaturity by the “Man of Christ” (and especially after the “fat boy” taunt), that cop is going to be sure to show up in court.

So, what kind of “Man of Christ” is MC Hammer? In our opinion, an impetuous and none-too-bright one:

…[Kevin Christian, a.k.a. Muhammad Bilal Abdullah] and his girlfriend, Monica, were in a record store, and they heard a cut off the album; Kevin couldn’t resist buying it. Eagerly, they went to his car, put in the tape, and listened to the first song, “Here Comes the Hammer.” Kevin’s jaw dropped open and his body went numb as he recognized his hook, his chorus. His girlfriend sat next to him, but he remained speechless. All he could think about was one thing: “The guy stole my song.” …

MC Hammer is so angry at Jay-Z that he’s accusing the younger rapper of consorting with Satan, complete with a totally absurd dis track and video clip. …

— Simon Vozick-Levinson
MC Hammer disses Jay-Z: Watch the ridiculous video here
Entertainment Weekly, November 1, 2010

A highly publicized copyright-infringement suit was filed by [Rick James] against rapper MC Hammer for his song “U Can’t Touch This,” which famously sampled “Super Freak.” The lawsuit was settled out of court, and James received co-writing credit and earned his only Grammy Award in 1991 when Hammer’s hit won for Best R&B Song.

— Margena A. Christian
Ebony Magazine Profile: Rick James
Ebony Magazine, February, 2011

Truth Wins Out today condemned has-been rapper MC Hammer for his endorsement of Jacksonville, Florida City Council candidate Kimberly Daniels (D). TWO recently urged Daniels to bow out of the race after shocking videos revealed offensive comments about Jews and slavery. … The controversial candidate has repeatedly denigrated LGBT people. … Daniels has also said that Halloween candy can be tainted by demons… Additionally, Daniels is known as a “demon buster” who gives exorcisms to rid people of various maladies. …

Hammer appeared at the Web 2.0 Summit to announce WireDoo, a new search engine which, according to TechCrunch, will “allow user [sic] to search relational terms” and render Google obsolete. We’re skeptical. Hammer’s career is a business school case study in money management and the rapper/entrepreneur can learn a little from past ventures. …

— Jason Newman
Business Lessons From MC Hammer’s Career
MTV Hive, October 20, 2011

MC Hammer — and he won’t mind me saying this because, let’s face it, he’s not reading it — is an idiot, a dancing dimwit who managed to soft shoe his way through 50 million dollars before eventually filing for bankruptcy in 1997. 50 big ones off the back of his 18 million selling album, the ingeniously titled Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em. Far smarter people than you or I have reasoned that if he simply invested this sum in the bank he would of [sic] had 5 million a year in interest alone and that’s for the rest of his life; in 1990-1991 alone, according to Forbes, he papered the walls of his own ego with 33 million dollars. …

— Chris Barrett
How MC Hammer Blew 50 Million Quid
Sabotage Times, January 29, 2013

More reading:

• “MC Hammer arrested, cited for obstructing Dublin police officer,” KTVU, February 23, 2013

1. We once received some good advice from a cop we knew: When you’re pulled over, the cop is probably more nervous than you are — he or she has no idea if you’re packing heat, running from a crime and/or strung out on drugs — and so it’s in your best interest to show the cop you’re not a threat, and, at the same time, don’t piss him or her off.

If you’re pulled over:

• Do NOT get out of your vehicle unless told to do so. Just roll down your window and wait. Let the cop approach you.

• Be polite — exceedingly polite. If deferring to authority grates on you, that’s just tough. Do you really want to spend the night in jail because some cop got your hackles up? Say “Yes, sir/ma’am,” “No, sir/ma’am”… In other words, use all the good manners your mama taught you (or should have), don’t pull attitude, and don’t give the cop any lip.

• Don’t make any sudden moves. When asked for your license and registration, tell the cop what you have to do to retrieve it, and ask him/her if you can reach for it: “My registration is in the glove box — is it okay if I get it?”

Yes, you may be steaming inside, and your pride may be hurting, but is it worth spending a night (or more) behind bars just for letting your ego get out of control?

If you do everything right, you might even be lucky enough to get off with a warning.

Go back to article.


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