First published December 9, 2003; updated after Little Boots left office.
Claims to fame: Former Vice President of the United States; former U.S. Secretary of Defense;
second in line to the Oval Office
Moral apex: You mean after pushing the U.S. into an immoral, illegal war based on lies? He used to be hideously anti-gay on all levels, opposing all civil-rights laws benefiting LGBT people; he once wanted to criminalize homosexuality. He came out in favor of full equality for gay and lesbian Americans only after leaving office.
Hypocrisy factor: We said: He came out in favor of full equality for gay and lesbian Americans after leaving office.
Punch line #1: His daughter is a lesbian — and a bigger hypocrite than Dear Old Dad (which we’ll get around to explaining one of these days).
Punch line #2: His wife wrote lesbian soft porn.
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Cheney:
Yea, they sacrificed their sons and their daughters unto devils, And shed innocent blood, even the blood of their sons and of their daughters, whom they sacrificed unto the idols of Canaan: and the land was polluted with blood.
— Psalm 106:37-38