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Claims to fame: Wife of Dick Cheney; anti-liberal crusader; hypocrite; liar; bad mother; misandrist
Moral apex: Wrote softcore, erotic lesbian romance novel in 1981, and has, ever since, quashed all attempts to reprint it.
Punch line: Denied her own daughter Mary’s lesbianism, despite fact that Mary has been out of the closet for years.
Conclusion: Lynne Cheney is less likely a lesbian, and far more likely a very frustrated heterosexual man-hater who’s incredibly jealous of daughter Mary.
Memorable quotes:
“Inflamed by liquor,” Cleantha went on, “men turn upon the physically weaker sex, they turn upon innocent women whose only crime is to have attracted their glance — or to be joined to them by the sacred bond of marriage.” …“They indulge themselves selfishly, sensually, with no thought of the consequences for us. For their own pleasure, they condemn us to early graves, murdering us as surely as if they had knotted a cord around our necks.”
— Sisters by Lynne Cheney
She broke off and gave a quick, convulsive shudder. “It was so grotesque, so horrible to me that she’d let men do that to her again and again, as though she were merely a vessel of flesh, an animal, and nothing more. I couldn’t get beyond that.”
— ibid.
The women who embraced in the wagon were Adam and Eve crossing a dark cathedral stage — no, Eve and Eve, loving one another as they would not be able to once they ate of the fruit and knew themselves as they truly were. She felt curiously moved, curiously envious of them. She had never to this moment thought Eden a particularly attractive paradise, based as it was on naiveté, but she saw that the women in the cart had a passionate, loving intimacy forever closed to her. How strong it made them. What comfort it gave.
— ibid.
Suggested Bible reading for Mrs. Cheney:
And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and some of you shall they cause to be put to death.
— Luke 21:16
