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Claims to fame: Conservative commentator; failed presidential candidate; anti-gay crusader; xenophobe
Hmmm! moment: Says he was exempted from draft in 1960 due to Reiter’s syndrome.
What’s that? A type of “reactive arthritis” — or, a type of arthritis caused by some sort of bacterial infection.
So? So, in third-world countries, Reiter’s syndrome is usually caused by dysentery, or salmonella poisoning.
So? So, it’s extremely unlikely Pat contracted dysentery in some third-world country, or salmonella poisoning, before 1960.
So? So, the most common cause of Reiter’s syndrome in the U.S. is chlamydia.
So, what’s chlamydia? A venereal disease. VD. An STD. A sexually-transmitted disease that gives you ugly sore things on your private parts. Sometimes it doesn’t show any symptoms at all. Especially if you’re a guy. In fact, you might never know you have it, unless a doctor tests you for it. Like, say, a draft-board doctor.
Ohhh!
Memorable quote: Regarding Secretary of State Colin Powell’s encouragement to sexually-active teenagers to use condoms in an effort to stem the spread of sexually-transmitted diseases, Pat opined:
“As for Powell’s advice, it would appear to have been on the same moral plane as telling teens who drink and shoot drugs to be sure to use clean needles and buy only bonded whiskey. But what they needed to hear from the secretary is the truth. The laws of nature and nature’s God have not been repealed. As the Bible says, so it remains: The wages of sin is death.”
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Buchanan:
He is a leprous man, he is unclean: the priest shall pronounce him utterly unclean; his plague is in his head.
— Leviticus 13:44
