Video after the jump.

Moral apex: Indicted August 31, 2010, after a grand jury weighed the evidence to support the claim he’d had a year-long sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl he met through his church.

Charge: Unlawful sexual conduct with a minor, a third-degree felony.

What does he say? Deaton denies “these false allegations,” and says he thinks the timing of the indictment is politically motivated.

That would be dirty politics! Yeah, it would — except that WHIO-TV asked for and received a timeline of the investigation, which shows the cops first learned of Deaton’s alleged dalliance in October, 2009, and carried out the investigation until May, 2010 — and then, from “June until August, police said the Grand Jury reviewed the evidence.” Doesn’t sound to us layfolk like the timing is fishy; sounds like a pretty normal timeline for any such case.

What could he get if he’s guilty? Up to five years in the can and a $10,000 fine.

What happens next? Deaton is due for arraignment September 14, 2010.

What’s this “Church of the Brethren”? We didn’t know either, so we turned to Wikipedia:

The Church of the Brethren is a Christian denomination originating from the Schwarzenau Brethren (German: “Schwarzenauer Neutäufer” or “Schwarzenau New Baptists”) organized in 1708 by eight persons led by Alexander Mack, in Schwarzenau, Bad Berleburg, Germany. The Brethren movement began as a melding of Radical Pietist and Anabaptist ideas during the Protestant Reformation. The first of its churches in the United States was established in 1723. These church bodies became commonly known as Dunkers and more formally as German Baptist Brethren. The denomination holds the New Testament as its only creed. Historically the church has taken a strong stance for non-resistance or pacifism. Distinctive practices include believers baptism by trine immersion; a threefold love feast consisting of feet washing, a fellowship meal, and communion; anointing for healing; and the holy kiss.

. . .

Since the end of the Second World War, church and member positions on social issues have caused further disagreements between congregations, districts, and individuals within the church. Particularly difficult issues which have been the source of much debate and division include the authority of the Bible, the ordination of women, tolerance of homosexuality, and the promotion of ecumenicalism.

. . .

Promoting the more liberal ideas — including changing the name of the church because it is seen to be exclusionary of women, acceptance of homosexuals as members and ministers, and increased social and political activity — are groups such as Womaen’s Caucus, Voices for an Open Spirit, and the Brethren Mennonite Council on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Interests.

Although a great divide exists within the church on these issues, the official position of the Church is that the Bible is the Word of God and that covenant-relationships between homosexuals are unacceptable.

More at the link.

Memorable Vast-Ignorance-of-U.S.-History-on-Display quote:

The United States was founded as a Christian nation with values derived from biblical principles and morality from our God.

— Eric Deaton
deatonforsenate.com

Which explains why Deaton is endorsed by such radical-fringe right-wing groups as:

• VOTE family Values (their capitalization, not ours): anti-gay, anti-equality, anti-choice, anti-science biblical literalists who endorse candidates as far removed from reality as they are.

• Liberty Candidates: extreme fiscal conservatives who love their guns — probably more than they love their wives.

• Mansfield North Central Ohio Tea Party Association, as well as the Akron Tea Party, who seem to be laboring under the impression that Deaton understands the United States Constitution.

• Virgil Goode, homophobic bigot who wants to elimate any legal recognition of same-sex partnerships and fearmongering xenophobe who equates undocumented aliens with terrorists and drug dealers.

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Deaton:

Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Israel, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof; because they sold the righteous for silver, and the poor for a pair of shoes;

That pant after the dust of the earth on the head of the poor, and turn aside the way of the meek: and a man and his father will go in unto the same maid, to profane my holy name:

And they lay themselves down upon clothes laid to pledge by every altar, and they drink the wine of the condemned in the house of their god.

— Amos 2:6-8

Claims to fame: Youth pastor and son of pastor Les Gill, Word of Life Church, Boyle, Alberta, Canada; convicted child molester

Moral apex #1: Sexually molested a young girl — who, with her family, belonged to the Gills’ church — for nearly seven years, beginning when he was 16 years old, and she was just five. Reported the Edmonton Sun, “Gill attacked the girl at her home, at his home and on the ‘Bible Bus,’ a 15-seat van used to take church youth to various activities.”

Moral apex #2: He continued abusing her even after he was married. (By the time he was sentenced, Gill was the father of a three-year-old boy and a year-old girl.)

Plea: Guilty to sexual touching of a minor.

Sentence: Just one lousy year — one lousy, freaking year — plus a mere two years’ probation, a court order “that Gill not be allowed to hold any station that places him in a position of trust over children younger than 10,” and listing on the nation’s sex offender registry (which is not viewable by the public; it is accessible only by Canadian authorities) for 20 years.

What’s worse: According to the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police), Gill was charged previously with similar crimes against another girl in his church, but there was no follow-up; a spokesman said the RCMP was “still open to new information if anyone were to come forward.”

Aftermath: The Word of Life Church “is gone from Boyle, and the victim’s family said the Gills are now running a church in Fort Saskatchewan.”

Memorable quotes:

“Why didn’t I see? How could I not know? My poor little girl, I am so sorry this happened to you.”

— Victim’s mother, at Gill’s sentencing

“I feel like I failed as a protector of my family. I am so very angry at the perverted betrayal that has… robbed the innocence of my little girl.”

— Victim’s father

What put Gill on our radar: “Boyfriend’s past tears family apart,” QMI Agency, August 26, 2010:

When Nabil discovered his daughter’s boyfriend of more than a year is a notorious pedophile, his world — and his family — were torn apart.

“It was like somebody cut open my chest and ripped out my heart,” he said, “It hurt more than any physical pain I’ve ever felt.”

Nabil said the man — who wanted to marry his daughter, who had been sleeping two to three nights a week under Nabil’s roof and who had even been invited to a child’s birthday party — had been lying to keep his dark past from Nabil and his daughters, Masoomah and Aiza. …

It’s a cruel irony that the very system set up to protect families, like Nabil’s, from child molesters and rapists — the federal sex offender registry — did a better job of protecting Gill’s privacy. …

The registry is for police eyes only — the public has no access to it because privacy laws forbid it. …

See also:

“Fort man pleads guilty to molesting child in Boyle court,” Fort Saskatchewan Record, 2006

“‘My Poor Little Girl’,” Edmonton Sun, March 1, 2007 (alternate link)

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Gill:

He shall lean upon his house, but it shall not stand: he shall hold it fast, but it shall not endure.

— Job 8:15

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Probation hearing scheduled: Perez Blackmon, 42, newly elected pastor of Rosinvick Missionary Baptist Church, Blakely, Georgia, to determine if Blackmon’s new role as church leader violates the terms of his probation after his conviction of of statutory rape in 2005. Notes one vocal opponent, a court order specifying the conditions of Blackmon’s probation mandates that Blackmon “shall have no contact whether directly in person or indirectly through any means of communication or employment, volunteer activity or otherwise with any child under the age of 18,” and that pastoring a church violates this condition. Story: Albany Herald, September 1, 2010; sex offender registry page

Arrested: “Apostle” Nathaniel Calhoun, preacher, House of Prayer, Hillsboro, Texas, and charged with multiple counts of aggravated sexual assault against a child, involving incidents dating back some 20 years. In 1995, a group of women told Fox station KDFW that they had been “victimized by their spiritual father in the compound where they lived and worshiped.” Because the women were reluctant to speak with police, the investigation was halted. Now, fully grown, Calhoun’s alleged victims are willing to talk. Story & video: KDFW Fox 4, August 31, 2010

Charged: Robert Dando, 46, Baptist minister, Worcester Park Baptist Church, London, England, and official at both the Baptist World Alliance and the Boys’ Brigade (a Christian youth organization, of which his wife is a vice president), with four counts of aggravated sexual battery against two boys in the United States during a series of visits to family friends over the course of five years, beginning when the boys were seven and eight years old. A British national, Dando was arrested during his most recent visit to Fairfax, Virginia. Story: Daily Mail, August 20, 2010; Philippines News, August 21, 2010

Arrested: Jermel Manns, a.k.a. Jermel Beckford, 36, youth minister and nephew of pastor Errol Beckford, Tabernacle Church, Cocoa, Florida, and charged with soliciting sex from a 16-year-old boy via text message. Beckford told WOFL Manns was “squeaky clean” — despite his conviction for criminal sexual abuse against a 17-year-old in 2000. Story: WOFL Fox 35, June 25, 2010; Illinois Sex Offender Registry

Guilty: Jerry Nickelsen, 45, volunteer deaf minister, Bible study teacher, and missionary (who traveled with the church to Paraguay in 2009), First Baptist Church of Central Florida, Orlando, who pleaded guilty August 30, 2010, to one count of distributing child pornography, after admitting to the FBI in June that he had had “sexual contact with at least seven boys” between five and 13 years old over the past 20 years. Nickelsen came to the attention of authorities in May of this year, when agents browsed the computer directories he shared freely via a peer-to-peer file sharing network. At his August 30th hearing, Nickelsen claimed he didn’t know child pornography was illegal. Until his arrest, he lived across the street from an elementary school. Story: WFTV, June 4, 2010; Orlando Sentinel, June 4, 2010, June 10, 2010, August 30, 2010

Charged: Felix Owino, 44, Catholic priest and philosophy instructor, Wheeling Jesuit University, West Virginia, and former chaplain, Magdalen College, Warner, New Hampshire, with one count of aggravated sexual battery against an 11-year-old girl, the daughter of “long-time family friends” of Owino’s. Owino is a native of Nairobi, Kenya, where he belonged to an order called the “Apostles of Jesus.” Story: WAMU, July 13, 2010; UnionLeader.com, August 30, 2010

Charged: William Lee Porter, 53, youth pastor, Elmwood Church of Christ, West Lafayette, Indiana, with “five felony charges of child seduction after allegedly inappropriately touching a minor in his care,” as well as “criminal deviance.” Story: WLFI.com

Sentenced: Jeffrey Alan Wasley, a.k.a. “Magic Jeff,” 39, former youth minister, Calvary Jesus Church, Kennesaw, Georgia, and magician (”[a]t one time … at the American Adventures amusement park in Marietta”), to 20 years and probation for life on child pornography charges. “Magic Jeff” would offer to “assist” little boys who entered public restrooms by themselves (most often at Target and Walmart stores), and then videotape them. A police search of Wasley’s home turned up some 17,000 images of child porn on his computers. When confronted with arrest, Wasley “barricaded himself in his garage and tried to kill himself by slitting his wrist and neck and stabbing himself in the chest.” Also found: “a note of apology that Wasley wrote his wife and children and a novel he was writing about a man who was abused as a child and later became a molester as an adult.” Story: Atlanta Constitution-Journal, July 14, 2010

Arrested: Joshua Wisdom, 37, pastor, First Baptist Church of Springdale and The Church at Pinnacle Hills, Rogers, Arkansas, along with eight other men in a police prostitution sting at a Rogers motel. Story & video: 4029TV.com

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Guilty: James Blaine, 61, former pastor, Good Shepherd Church, Greenfield, Ohio, after pleading guilty to one count of forgery and one count of aggravated theft, stemming from charges he embezzled more than $100,000 from his church. Blaine is scheduled for sentencing October 1st, at which time it is expected he will also be ordered to pay upwards of $200,000 in restitution. Story: Highland County Press, May 4, 2010; Brown News Service, August 12, 2010

Sentenced: Bradley Boda, 39, former church youth director & volunteer, Christ Our Savior Lutheran Church, Longmont, Colorado, and Fort Collins high school counselor, after pleading guilty to two counts of sexual assault on a child, to 20 years in prison and probation for life. The prosecutor threw out another 11 counts involving boys as young as 11, dating back nearly 20 years. Story: Conservative Babylon, October 2, 2009; Longmont Times-Call, July 1, 2010

Arrested: Robert Burke, 50, of Middletown, New York, minister at an unnamed church in Newburgh, and charged with third-degree felony rape; police say he had sex with a 17-year-old girl. Story: Record Online, July 29, 2010

Arrested: Jonathan Marshall Carrier and Yancey Obrain Tanner, both 19, charged with child molestation and statutory rape of two 14-year-old girls, whom they met through a youth group at His Hands Church, Woodstock, Georgia. The men allegedly took the girls to an apartment complex, where the assaults took place. Police believe there may be other victims. Tanner was also charged with possession of marijuana. Story: WSBTV.com, August 24, 2010; WSB News, August 25, 2010

Sentenced: Gernard Jones, 19, to seven years, plus eight years’ probation, after pleading to lewd battery of a 12-year-old girl. Story: Conservative Babylon, August 26, 2010; September 5, 2009; September 11, 2009; August 26, 2010; TheLedger.com, August 26, 2010

Arrested: Kenneth Kleckner III, 44, pastor, West Ocala United Methodist Church and former pastor, First United Methodist Church of Alachua, Florida, and charged with one count of soliciting a minor sex and five counts of transmitting harmful material to a minor, in an online sting. Authorities say Kleckner chatted for months with a detective he believed was an underage girl, and exposed himself via webcam. Kleckner, who is married and has four children, was arrested at his church, from where police say he had conducted some of the online conversations. Story: WESH.com, July 9, 2010; High Springs Herald, July 16, 2010

Charged: Thurman Leonard, 48, pastor, Restoration and Faith Ministry, Newport News, Virginia, with felony abduction and assault of an unidentified female relative, after police responded to a call in Virginia Beach July 15th. Story & video: WTKR.com, July 20, 2010

Arrested: Jim Reynolds, 55, former pastor, Graceway Baptist Church, Mansfield, Louisiana, and charged with three counts of cyberstalking stemming from complaints by church members of “threatening e-mails and text messages.” Reynolds had been “released from his pastoring duties” a couple of months before his arrest. Story: KLFY.com, July 22, 2010

Arrested: Darryl Todd, 32, senior pastor, Spring Branch Missionary Baptist Church, Wagram, North Carolina, and charged with statutory rape of a 14-year-old girl. According to his church’s Web site, Todd is married and the father of two, and: “currently serves as President of the Union for the Pee Dee Missionary Baptist Educational Association and a member of the General Board at Large for the General Baptist State Convention of NC, Inc. He is the Chairman of Religious Affairs, Scotland County Branch of the NAACP.” He is also “Born-again, Blood-washed and Bought with a price child of the King!” Story: Laurinburg Exchange, August 27, 2010

Claims to fame: Former pastor, New Covenant Church, Clyde, North Carolina; perv; thief; klutz

Moral apex: In 2008, broke into a woman’s home, rummaged through her drawers, and stole an un-described “sex toy,” a container of personal lubricant, and a pair of the woman’s panties.

What’s even funnier: The woman came home and surprised Murray; he fled the scene by running outside, where he jumped over a railing, ran for the woods, and then fell and broke his leg.

Video after the jump…

Charges: Felony burglary, grand larceny (known in N.C. as “felonious larceny”) and possession of stolen property.

Grand larceny? Felony theft? Yep — which makes us really, really curious about the value of that “sex toy”!

(”It would appear,” agreed The Weekly Vice, “that the device stolen would have to be a bit more elaborate than just an ordinary vibrator. All three charges were felonies, which hints that the item stolen would have been worth greater than $500. But even at that high of a cost, I’m not sure I’d want the thing back…. would you?”)

Plea: Guilty to the breaking-and-entering felony larceny charges, thus avoiding having to stand trial for second-degree burglary and felony possession of stolen goods.

Sentence: Two years’ supervised probation.

Memorable headlines:

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Murray:

Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? thou that preachest a man should not steal, dost thou steal?

— Romans 2:21

Moral apex: Arrested October 16, 2009, and charged with three counts of sexual battery against two female employees — one minor, and one fortysomething — who allege that Crain groped them at his Christian camp.

Update: Convicted August 26, 2010, of sexual battery. As of this writing, Crain is still facing two more charges; sentencing for his first conviction is slated for November 4, 2010. (See “Youth Camp Founder Guilty of Sexual Battery,” WDEF.com.)

Interesting: His organization says Crain resigned from “his leadership positions with Fort Bluff” due to several strokes and “progressive cognitive dementia.” Still, he and his wife continued to work and live at the campground. See: Herald-News.

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Crain:

We’ll hold off until the case is closed completely. Frankly, our first inclination is to hold the camp responsible; if the people running the place knew Crain had the judgment of “a sixth grader” for the past two years, they never should have let him remain on the grounds.

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Sentenced: Michael Louis Anthony, 43, former youth minister, Calvary Chapel, Longview, Washington, to five years for a year-and-a-half sexual affair with a teenage girl, which began when she was 15. The girl told police she had had sex with Anthony “at least 200 times,” including in the lobby of the chapel. Anthony was caught by police with his half-clothed victim in a parked car. Anthony also said the girl’s parents “were aware of the relationship.” Anthony pleaded guilty to two counts of third-degree rape of a child, third-degree child molestation and first-degree sexual misconduct with a minor under his supervision. He has “waived extradition to Oregon, where he faces another sex charge with the same victim.” Story: KATU, April 28, 2010; TDN.com, August 24, 2010

Awaiting trial: Quincy Arnold, 50, former pastor, New Life Deliverance Ministries, Inc., Winder, Georgia, on charges of “insurance fraud, vandalizing a place of worship, first-degree arson” and conspiracy, stemming from the arson fire that gutted his own church in December, 2005. Guilty: Maurice Arnold, 25, Quincy Arnold’s son, believed to have been asked by his father to set the fire. Guilty: Bruce Edward Smith, 48, of Monroe, Georgia, believed to have been enlisted to help set the fire by the junior Arnold. Story: Online Athens, June 10, 2010; Claims Magazine, July 9, 2010; Augusta Chronicle, June 15, 2010; InsuranceSpecialists Blog, June 16, 2010

Guilty: Irvin “Pete” Baldwin, 81, former pastor and Sunday school teacher, Mechanicsville, Virginia, of three counts of soliciting sex from a minor — actually a detective posing as a 13-year-old girl — on the Internet. The jury deliberated a mere 15 minutes before delivering the verdict, and then recommended Baldwin be sentenced to 90 years in prison. Leaving the courthouse, Baldwin told reporters: “My offense was speaking to a 42-year-old man who was not even very good looking anyway on the Internet.” Sentencing is scheduled for November 15, 2010. Story & video: WTVR, August 19, 2010; NBC29.com, August 20, 2010

Arrested: Jason Bolton, 32, youth minister, Potomac Crest Baptist Church, Woodbridge, Virginia, and charged with sodomy (despite the fact that Virginia’s sodomy law is unconstitutional per Lawrence v. Texas, 2003) and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, stemming from an alleged sexual relationship with a teenage girl. Story: Associated Baptist Press, August 12, 2010

Arrested: Lawrence Brown, associate minister, Starlight Missionary Baptist Church, Slidell, Louisiana, and charged with offering $100 to a 15-year-old girl for sex. Story: St. Tammany News, August 1, 2010

Charged: Christopher William Furey, 43, “Kids’ Pastor,” Emmanuel Fellowship, Cottonwood, Arizona, with five counts of sexual conduct with a minor, six counts of sexual abuse, four counts of luring a minor for sexual exploitation and four counts of stalking. His alleged victim is a 16-year-old girl. Story: Camp Verde Bugle, August 23, 2010

Guilty: Gernard Jones, 19, to lewd battery of a 12-year-old girl. Jones had been arrested and charged along with his uncle, Clevon Ghent, volunteer minister at Born Again Church of God and Christ, Auburndale, Florida; Ghent was convicted of three counts of sexual activity with a child the day before Jones entered his guilty plea. Story: Conservative Babylon, September 5, 2009; September 11, 2009; August 26, 2010; TheLedger.com, August 26, 2010

Charged: Terry L. McDowell, 48, pastor, Gateway Southern Baptist Church, St. Louis, Missouri, with one count of child molestation in the first degree. Per the St. Louis County Police, the “investigation began on Monday, May 17, 2010, when St. Louis County Police Detectives received a hotline referral from the Missouri Department of Social Services Jefferson County Children’s Division concerning the victim, under the age of 4 years old. The victim reported that between January and May of 2010, the suspect, a trusted family friend, had touched her inappropriately while she was alone with him at his home. The suspect’s residence is in St. Louis County although the victim lives in Jefferson County. The suspect and his wife have been babysitting the child for the last two years.” More: Associated Baptist Press, August 25, 2010

Charged: Rodney Stewart, 43, traveling evangelist and pastor, Broadview Heights Baptist Church, Broadview Heights, Ohio, with “importuning, possession of criminal tools and disseminating materials harmful to a juvenile,” after being caught in an online sting. Franklin County sheriff’s deputies posed as a 15-year-old girl and her 36-year-old mother, with whom the county prosecutor says Stewart engaged in “sexual, very sexual conversations” — which Stewart saved and stored on his computer — and to whom Stewart sent a photo of his “private parts.” Prosecutor Bill Mason stated that he was “startled” by the case, simply because Stewart is a minister. Story: Video, Fox8 News, August 24, 2010

Charged: Edward Webb, 66, former pastor, United House of Prayer for All People, Charlotte, North Carolina, with indecent exposure and “committing a sex act at Freedom Park in Charlotte.” Police say this wasn’t Webb’s first arrest for such charges, and that he “confessed to doing the same thing in a Harris Teeter parking lot a couple months ago, but was not caught.” Story: Charlotte Observer, August 26, 2010

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sins of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Possible mediation: Allison Brant, 31, former Catholic school principal, St. Mary of the Woods Elementary, Whitesville, Kentucky, facing several charges of rape and sodomy stemming from a two-month-long sexual affair with 15-year-old boy, and for providing alcohol to minors. The state attorney is apparently open to mediation and settlement in lieu of a trial. Story: Conservative Babylon, October 12, 2009; December 8, 2009

Arrested: Johnny William “Bill” Cabe, 50, pastor, Riverside Independent Baptist Church, Rock Hill, South Carolina, and convicted felon “found guilty of 26 charges related to bilking religious investors out of millions of dollars,” on charges of sexual abuse of an 11-year-old boy — the third time he has been charged with sex crimes against a child. Furthermore, Cabe has been charged with “unlawfully practicing medicine,” which “stems from allegations Cabe performed an examination of the child, diagnosed a physical ailment and prescribed a treatment.” Story: WSOC, August 24, 2010; The Herald, August 25, 2010

Guilty: Clevon Ghent, 35, volunteer minister at Born Again Church of God and Christ, Auburndale, Florida, and manager of Trinity Cleaning Service, of three counts “sexual activity with a child” — a 12-year-old girl he babysat — and acquitted of one additional count, after a two-day trial and just two hours of jury deliberation. Sentencing is set for September 16, 2010. As of this writing, the trial of Gernard Jones, Ghent’s 19-year-old nephew, charged with lewd battery of the same girl, was slated to begin the same day Ghent’s verdict was reached. Story: Conservative Babylon, September 5, 2009; September 11, 2009; TheLedger.com, August 25, 2010

Arrested: Jason Leitz, fourth-grade teacher, Crown of Life Lutheran Church & School (Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod), West Saint Paul, Minnesota, in an online prostitution sting. The school’s mission statement: “To ensure that students receive the Word of God through which God brings them to eternal salvation, and to guide each child toward becoming a representative of Christ whose life will be a witness to many. The Word of God in our school also brings blessings upon the secular subjects that are taught.” Story & video: KSTP, August 24, 2010; KCRG, August 5, 2010

Guilty: Salvatore “Sam” Magro, 51, former religion teacher, Our Lady of Victory, Delhi Township, Ohio, of three counts of unlawful sexual conduct with a minor girl who was the student of Magro’s wife (at a different school), and who lived with the Magros; sentenced to four years on each count, to be served concurrently. The girl read a victim’s statement, in which she said “Magro used to drug his wife so that he could then have sexual relations with the teen. She said he told her they were going to get married and even privately exchanged vows at a wedding they once attended.” Magro’s wife also read a statement (video), pleading for leniency, and blaming her husband’s behavior on “medical problems.” Story: WLWT, August 19, 2010

Arrested: Timothy E. Parker, 40, pastor, since 2001, of the 125-year-old St. Peter Lutheran Church, Westgate, Iowa, charged with two counts of lascivious acts with a minor and one count of third-degree sexual abuse of a 12-year-old girl. Reports of a search at Parker’s home suggest authorities also found child porn on his computer. Story: WCF Courier, August 5, 2010; KCRG, August 5, 2010

Arrested: Keith W. Valentine, 44, seven-year Greene County, New York, legislator and currently Republican majority leader, and his wife, Cynthia J. Valentine, 45, charged with serving alcohol to minors at a 4th of July party at their Catskill home. Ironically, in 2007, Mr. Valentine, voted in favor of “a Greene County local law that prohibits the consumption of alcoholic beverages by minors on private property” — the same law he and his wife are now accused of violating. Story: Daily Freeman, August 21, 2010; KCRG, August 22, 2010

Details: USA Today, May 23, 2010

See also main ConBab entry: Donald “Buz” Lukens (R-Ohio)

Moral apex: Busted on a DUI after leaving a gay nightclub, March 6, 2010.

What’s worse than being a self-loathing closet ‘mo who’s consistently voted against equal rights for gays: Being a a self-loathing outed ‘mo who says he’s going to continue to vote against equal rights for gays.

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Ashburn:

Why is my pain perpetual, and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed? wilt thou be altogether unto me as a liar, and as waters that fail?

— Jeremiah 15:18

Karl Rove granted divorce in Texas

December 29, 2009

Karl Rove, former senior adviser to President George W. Bush, has been granted a divorce in Texas after 24 years of marriage, a family spokesperson said. …

More at Politico.

Oh, and skinny Bush mouthpiece Dana Perino says we’re all supposed to “respect” the Roveses’ “privacy.”

Respect their privacy? After Rove “led the whole anti-gay marriage movement while protecting a family secret“?

Not on your sweet bippy, Dana. Not on K-K-K-Karl’s sweet bippy.

More to come.

But, ConBab has never pegged The Oral as a flaming hypocrite before; why mention his death now?

Because it reminds us that we really need to write up his son, Richard, and Richie’s wife Lindsay, one of these days. Now there’s some major scandal.

And then, of course, there’s our favorite Oral Roberts story, about how Oral wheedled $9 million out of his followers after God threatened to kill him…

See:

Everything You Need to Know About the Oral Roberts Scandal… So Far, Lavender Newswire, October 9, 2007

Oral Roberts U Scandal: Exit Richie, Enter “Convicted Sexual Deviant”, Lavender Newswire, October 17, 2007

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sex crimes of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Sentenced and facing new charges: Kenneth Graham Gibbs, 77, retired Anglican minister, St. John’s Anglican Church, Chapleau, Ontario, and St. Peter the Apostle, Elliot Lake, convicted in November, 2009, and sentenced December 3, 2009, to three and a half years for “indecently assaulting five now-grown women when they were girls” during the 1960s, and charged four days later with with two new counts of indecent assault against two other children. “The incidents are reported to have taken place in Chapleau, Ontario between 1965 and 1971, when one victim was a child and the other a young teen.” Story: SooToday.com, December 3, 2009; December 7, 2009

Arrested: Julian Sheppard Heyman, 52, sixth-grade teacher, Ebenezer Middle School, Effingham County, Georgia, president of the Georgia Salzburger Society, and director of youth and young adult ministry for the Diocese of Savannah, on multiple chiuld-molestation charges, including aggravated child molestation, aggravated sodomy, sexual battery and enticing a child for indecent purposes, among others. “Two victims reported to investigators that they were molested from as far back as 1997 and 1998. Both victims were under 10 years of age at the time the crimes took place.” Heyman had been named Ebenezer’s teacher of the year, 2009. Story: Effingham Herald, December 3, 2009

Sentenced: Madeleine Martin, 39, religious education teacher in Machester, U.K., to 32 months after pleading guilty to 10 counts of “causing a teenage boy to engage in sexual activity.” Martin, who is married and the mother of two teenage girls, had sex with the 15-year-old boy “in the back of her car in a country park, at a shopping centre and inside the mother of two’s family home during a brief relationship.” She “also persuaded the pupil to have her name tattooed on his arm after they became involved when she was assigned to mentor him at an all-boys school.” Story: Tameside Advertiser, November 25, 2009; Daily Mail, November 26, 2009

Deemed “too fat for jail”: John William McConaghy, 66, County Antrim, Northern Ireland, church elder, convicted of sexually abusing the same girl fro some eight years. Convicted of indecent assault, McConaghy received just two and a half years, which Judge David Smyth suspended, citing the 420-pound pedophile’s “precarious” health and declaring his “lack of mobility, ulcerated legs and need for frequent dressings amounted to ‘wholly exceptional circumstances.’” Story: BBC, December 3, 2009; Huffington Post, December 4, 2009

Under investigation again: Keith Morton, 43, lay preacher, Elm Ridge Methodist Church, Darlington, England, “over allegations of child abuse committed in the North-East… Keith Morton is on remand after admitting a string of sex offences against young boys in the Midlands dating back to 2002. The 43-year-old Methodist preacher was due to be sentenced at Wolverhampton Crown Court yesterday, but the hearing was adjourned after new allegations came to light… Police have questioned him about indecent images found on his computer and alleged sex offences involving three boys under the age of 16… Morton has been sacked and banned for life from working with children in the church. … A trial will take place at Teesside Crown Court if Morton contests any further charges. A date for the next hearing is yet to be confirmed.” Story: Northern Echo, December 5, 2009

A few of Ensign’s former aides have been slapped with subpoenas. Details: Politico.

So, the daughter of Amanda Ross, the woman former gubernatorial candidate Steve Nunn allegedly shot to death in September, has filed a civil wrongful-death lawsuit against Nunn — and has also named Nunn’s daughter as co-defendant.

Seems Nunn “fraudulently transferred personal property in his house to his oldest daughter after the suit had been filed, and that she sold the items at auction.” [WKYT]

Meanwhile, Nunn’s lawyer says “he may have to withdraw as Nunn’s attorney if the judge won’t release funds from an escrow account to pay his legal expenses.” [Glasgow Daily Times]

Continuing to milk her victimhood for all its worth (don’t get us wrong — we approve) — no doubt due to her book, slated for publication in May, 2010 — wronged wife of South Carolina governor and laughingstock Mark Sanford did an interview (scheduled to air Wednesday night) in which she told Barbara Walters “she wouldn’t have stood with Gov. Mark Sanford when he faced cameras to tell the world about his affair with an Argentine woman,” even if he’d asked her to.

Details: ABC News.

Moral apex: Flying low (at least 85mph) down the I-55 freeway in his TBN-owned BMW, Galiher smashed into another car, flipping it twice.

That was in April, 2009. In November, the driver of the other car, 70-year-old Vietnam vet David Rhodes, died.

Much more:

OC Weekly

Nashville Scene

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Galiher:

Stay yourselves, and wonder; cry ye out, and cry: they are drunken, but not with wine; they stagger, but not with strong drink.

For the LORD hath poured out upon you the spirit of deep sleep, and hath closed your eyes: the prophets and your rulers, the seers hath he covered.

— Isaiah 29:9-10

Because we could spend 24/7 tracking the sex crimes of right-wing religionists (especially “youth pastors”) and never get caught up. Of the following, the more interesting cases will probably end up with their very own Conservative Babylon entries.

Captured: Robert Lee Adams, 46, pastor, Mount Calvary Tabernacle, Gastonia, North Carolina, thanks to an anonymous tip, and charged with three counts of first-degree statutory sex offense against a child (a five-year-old girl), as well as charges of statutory rape, first-degree sex offense with a child, taking indecent liberties with a child, and other sex offenses. Reportedly, neither Adams is cooperating with the investigation, giving police “the silent treatment.” Story: Gaston Gazette, December 4, 2009

Arrested: Isaac K. Aryee, 41, pastor, Praise Chapel International Ministries, Aurora, Colorado, on suspicion of “sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust.” Story: Denver Post, November 11, 2009

Case to grand jury: Allison Brant, 31, former Catholic school principal, St. Mary of the Woods Elementary, Whitesville, Kentucky, accused of having a two-month-long sexual affair with 15-year-old boy. Although an arrest affidavit says she “confessed to having sex with a teen-ager during last winter’s ice storm,” Brant has pled not guilty to the sex charge, and to charges of supplying alcohol to four other teenage boys. Story: Conservative Babylon, October 12, 2009; WFIE.com, November 12, 2009

Charged: Curtis Franklin, 44, assistant pastor (and son-in-law of pastor Jack Walker), Mahwah Full Gospel Church, Mahwah, New Jersey, with sexual assault, criminal sexual contact and endangering the welfare of a child, involving a 15-year-old girl “on at least three occasions about six years ago,” when he was a youth minister at the church. Two days after the initial charges were filed, a second victim came forward, and Franklin was charged with “additional complaints of sexual assault, criminal sexual contact and endangering the welfare of a child.” Story: NorthJersey.com, December 1, 2009; December 3, 2009

Charged: Jeremy Fulton, 27, youth minister, Mariners’ Temple Baptist Church, New York City, with “the violent rape” of a 12-year-old girl from his church. Story: WPIX, December 4, 2009; NY1, December 5, 2009

Charged: Fr. James Patrick Grady, 58, pastor, St. Raphael the Archangel Catholic Church, St. Louis, Missouri, “with three felonies for allegedly seeking sex with an underage girl,” after being caught in an FBI sting. has been suspended from his positioon at the church. His trial is scheduled to begin January 19, 2010. Story: St. Louis Public Radio, November 5, 2009; St. Louis Post-Dispatch, November 6, 2009

Charged: Curtis Otha Grant, 53, pastor, Open Door Baptist Church, Dothan, Alabama, and chaplain, Houston County Sheriff’s Office, who is said to have confessed to sexually assaulting a 15-year-old girl on several occasions between August and September, 2009. Grant has been charged with one count of second-degree rape, five counts of second-degree sodomy and five counts of enticing a child for immoral purposes. Story: Dothan Eagle, November 6, 2009

Charged: James T. Johnson, 46, founder and pastor, Olive Branch Church of Leland, North Carolina, with numerous counts of sex crimes against a child, who was reportedly still in grade school when the abuse began. Story, StarNewsOnline.com: November 4, 2009; November 10, 2009

Arrested: Phillip Charles Joubert, Sr., 48, New Light Missionary Baptist Church, Norwalk, Connecticut; pastor, Community Baptist Church; Bayside, New York; president, Baptist Minister’s Conference of Greater New York and Vicinity; and dean, Congress of Christian Education, Connecticut State Missionary Baptist Convention, Inc., and charged with raping a teenage relative. Story: 1010 WINS, December 3, 2009

Arrested: Russell Dion Lewis, 28, “worship leader” and assistant youth minister, mega-church Church by the Glades, Coral Springs, Florida, and charged with a total of 11 counts of sex abuse against a 14-year-old girl over a period of five months. Story: Associated Baptist Press, December 1, 2009

Returning to prison: Billy Masters, 66, preacher, Harvest Baptist Church, Kilpatrick, Georgia, convicted in 2001 sodomy against three boys under the age of 12, and arrested again in May, 2009, charged with first-degree sexual abuse of another boy under 12, for 15 years after violating probation. In a plea agreement, the more recent charge was dropped. Story: WHNT.com, May 22, 2009; AL.com, May 22, 2009; WAAYTV, November 4, 2009

Indicted: Joseph Kennedy Ragland, 47, former pastor, Book of Acts Church of God in Christ Jesus, Angier, North Carolina, on multiple counts of sex crimes against a 16-year-old girl. The alleged assault occurred in April, 2009, after Ragland reportedly advised the girl’s parents “that the girl needed counseling.” He was arrested and charged in May, and released on $35,000 bond. Story: WRAL, May 1, 2009; CrimeShadows News, May 3, 2009; WTVD, November 11, 2009

Charged: Jenifer Stitzel, 34, preschool teacher, Seventh-day Adventist Central Valley Christian School, Tangent, Oregon, with two counts of third-degree sex abuse involving a 14-year-old eighth-grader, after the boy’s parents discovered “X-rated” text messages on his phone, allegedly from Stitzel, who is “also suspected of kissing the boy and having sexual contact with him on and off school grounds.” Story: Oregonian, December 3, 2009

Details: Virginian-Pilot.

Know where he is? The Parma, Ohio, police would love to hear from you: (440) 887-7340.

Details: Cleveland.com.

See all entries for Robert Kevin Carlino

“Who I’d like to meet: I would like to meet me in 5 years…” — Robert Kevin Carlino, long before his arrest

Details: NJ.com.

Of course Rod Jetton is a Republican — the sort who really, really, really hates Teh Ghey: He stripped Missouri Rep. Scott Lipke as chair of the state’s Committee on Crime Prevention and Public Safety because the latter “chose to use the [Jessica's Law] bill to delete 14 words from our laws in order to repeal the gay sex ban in Missouri.

“Thanks to that deletion,” wailed the married, Methodist, “family values” guy in 2007, “it is now legal to engage in deviate sexual intercourse with someone of the same sex here in Missouri.”

Never mind that the U.S. Supreme Court overturned all state sodomy laws years earlier (why let a little thing like that get in the way of keeping your homophobic hatred on the books?), or that Jetton admitted the sex “ban was technically unenforceable”; let’s see what Jetton really knows about deviate sexual intercourse in Missouri:

The complaint alleges Jetton “recklessly caused serious physical injury to — by hitting her on the head, and choking her resulting in unconsciousness and the loss of the function of part of her body.” …

The affidavit … says Jetton and the victim agreed on a “safe word” “to use as a stop word during intercourse.”

More at PrimeBuzz.

A safe word, notes Wonkette, “is hard to utter when you’re being CHOKED TO DEATH,” and adds:

Rod Jetton is married divorced-ish (SEE UPDATE) with three children and attends Methodist church regularly. He is affiliated with the Republican Party. He is a Real American, the end.

UPDATE: First the boring correction: Jetton and his wife agreed to a divorce settlement earlier this year, although it’s unclear if that’s been finalized. We don’t know why they got this divorce, but probably because Rod Jetton likes to beat people unconscious during sex.

But the big news: the password was “green balloons.” As in, “You should have said green balloons,” which is a direct quote from Rod Jetton.

“Green balloons” is common street slang for “ha ha you are unconscious and cannot say this term right now.”

See also: KY3 Political Notebook (yes, a legitimate news source is called “KY”).

The fun just never ends in the Pickering family! Details: TPM.

See all entries for C Street / The Family / The Fellowship

Details: WaPo.

We are not happy.

But hang in there with us — everything will be back to normal soon (and perhaps we’ll come up with an even dicier Carrie post!).